Why you shouldn’t take the Festive Season for granted.

The festive season is a joyous occasion for many people each year, myself included.

This year however, my “mojitos” have been ice chips with fresh mint leaves, and time spent with my family sitting alongside my bed in the Hospice whilst we all sit and play that agonising waiting game for me to slowly pass away.

On the 22nd November I called an ambulance and taken straight to emergency. I was completely out of breath and shaking like a leaf. I already knew that I had Stage 4 Bowel Cancer. It was diagnosed as Stage 3 around this time in 2013 at only 31 years old. I am only 36 years old and genuinely thought that I had a lot more fuel in my tank, so to speak.

Instead, I have been in the Hospice for over a month now. I have a Christmas tree and decorations set up, and my cat has been given permission to live here with me.

Unfortunately, I’ve had to make a decision to limit my time on my personal social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook. Whilst these platforms have given me a great outlet to spread awareness of this deadly disease, and provide updates for family and friends, during the festive season it is incredibly difficult and tiring to continue in my quest to raise awareness when many people are so pre-occupied. I don’t begrudge them for that, it is meant to be “the most wonderful time of the year” after all.

In the four weeks I have been in here, I have had approximately seven blood transfusions, and have continued to use my social media platforms to encourage and recruit blood donors, no matter how miserable I have been, I have still felt somewhat responsible for raising awareness and trying to get people to do more in aid of people living with cancer.

Whilst in the Hospice slowly fading away, I have managed to help a friend raise over $2000 for his fundraiser for Cancer Council and I have raised more awareness of the need for more blood donors. I have even recruited some brand new donors and reminded old donors to head back to the Red Cross and start giving again.

I don’t want a pat on that back for this, or any sort or reward or parade of honour, I just want to show people that no matter what position you’re in, you’re always in a position to give back.

I have been trying my very best for the past five years since my first diagnosis to be real, open and honest about every facet of this disease, but I am tired.

This time of the year is making me even more tired. My life, my world, it has stopped, it is completely on hold, whilst everyone else’s continues as normal. I would never wish this on anyone, yet I lay here on Christmas Eve still unsure whether I will be able to leave here for a few hours tomorrow to spend Christmas Day with my family.

The main premise here is to give as much as possible, especially at this time of the year. It doesn’t have to all be materialistic – sometimes a listening ear or checking in on someone you haven’t seen or spoken to in a long time means a lot.

But mostly: be GRATEFUL. If you’re happy, healthy, smiling, and getting excited and ready for the big day tomorrow, you have so so much to be grateful for and enjoy it.